Why I write

Why I write

I began writing to improve the skill.  As I began writing my emotions took over.  I started writing about what was bothering me at the time.  The more I wrote the more I realized I had to make different decisions in my life.  Decisions I did not want to make.  I began to understand myself. To keep my sanity.  To set my mind free – caged no longer and to get to know who I truly am.  I wanted to improve my life and to become aware of my conduct.  To know myself to examine myself to create a different life.

Writing is opening the gate of my mind, seeing what’s inside and releasing all my wild thoughts. What I find are so many opportunities an awareness that I have unlimited potential. When I go deeper still I find nothing.  A huge vastness of nothing.  That frightens me greatly.  I quickly want to fill it up with something.  I write so I can give words to all the emotions and feelings that are not clear and have some clarity in my life in an attempt to make sense of my world.  I write to remember.  I write to kill the time.  I write so that what ever I have inside comes out.  I write because I feel relaxed afterwards.  I write to see what my pains are.  Writing is painful for me and I want to find out why.  I write because it makes me feel alive. I write to fill in all my wonderments; to know about all that I wonder about. I write so I continue to exist. 

Moving Searching for a Home

I have been visiting new homes to move into. I do not know what specifically I’m looking for. I go into a home, I do not feel right and I leave. I know what I do not like. At my current home; I am not able to stay anymore! I got to move on; but from what? I do not want to move, but, I have to. And I have to go out and find a new place. That is - in my mind I must move somewhere else. I must make my own life.    

I am trying out a new way of being. The way I have been thinking will no longer work for me. A house represents shelter, safety. The thoughts that provided shelter for me are no longer useful. I got to move from them. It’s ok. I can take my time and look for a nice home – a place where I can continue to shelter my thoughts.

I am looking for a new way of being. The Soul – Self does change. It matures. It must be grounded with its roots deeply and strongly gripped in the ground.

To create a good life know that we decide what it is we want. That’s why it is important to sit quietly and decide how we want our future to be. By sitting down and meditating, in our minds, we begin to visualize what we want. By practicing this – it gets eassier. You also create your opportunities with all of your possibilities. There are plenty. Go for the Diamond in mind. Take up a new challenge that will realy challenge your mind.  Believe – have great belief that you deserve better. You do deserve better and set the mind free! Free from shame, fear, doubt; free to explore the fertile mind.

Underworld

I looked through a window.  The women I saw there are like rats of the underworld. Rebel gothic. They are dark. I do not think they really know what it is they want other than get high – do drugs and numb themselves to a pain they do not know how to cure. Punks – Zombie Rebels. The underworld life. Maybe all they want is to be loved and acepted for who they are from the group above them, even though they are so different. It is as if they are missing something. They are so hungry – literally hungry – but are not able to eat. Nothing in the world will ever fill them up.

Fortune

Today, my fortune cookie stated: “Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?”  What! Not found?! But that is, exactly, just perfect right now. Right this moment is blank and up to me to create the next. The next moment – my future – will be whatever I want it to be.

Life is a Creation

“A new path lies before us; we’re not sure where it leads;

But God goes on before us, providing all our needs.”  ~Linda Maurice

Take a turn and go a different route. The different path, to take, will lead to a place beyond your imagination. It’s not yet created.  With every new day comes a new opportunity. Each day walk into the future with great faith that you will have a great life. Go on this journey inside your mind. If you can go there in mind; you can go there in the outer world.  Have the courage to be a different way, and have faith that you will be ok. And you will continue to create a wonderful life – beyond your wildest dreams.

Faith

It is not as important whether you believe in God; as important as to believe in yourself and in your capacities of the possibilities of what you can become. 

Since we do not believe in our own capacities; we do destructive acts to sabotoge our own development and growth; in an attempt to prove our wrong beliefs correct and therfore continue in the same place. You see, growth, forces us to more challenging actions. Since we do not want to do the work we stay in the same place until we are numb and paralyzed.

New to Blogging

I am excited to begin my first blog. I look forwarding to writing a lot more.